No one can ever prepare you for news like this. It was a Wednesday morning. 5:15 Am. I was running on a treadmill in the gym next to my brff, Shannon...like we did almost every day of the week. Rewind just a little. After our usual ten minute warm up routine, I noticed I left my cell phone in my locker. Most times I keep it in that little oval compartment right in the front of the treadmill beneath the display. Something in me (looking back, it was God for sure) decided to go back in and get my phone before starting my run. About 15 minutes in or so, I saw my phone light up beneath my face. The screen read, "Dad Goodrow calling." My mind immediately raced...it's 5:15. Did he hit the call button by accident? After a second I saw it was still ringing- must not be an accidental call- so I hit Pause and answered. I could tell immediately when I heard my mom's voice, it was not good news. My mind immediately went to my Poppop who is slowly declining. I was stunned when I heard her say, "Grandmom went home to be with Jesus this morning." Still to this day, this moment, I can't help but immediately well up with tears and choke back my cries. Unable to finish my run, I went home, and decided to call out of work and go to be with my Granddad and family. I am so glad I decided to do that. Being in their home, and hugging and crying with my family helped reality and the beginning of the grieving to set in.
During the first day, I kept having thoughts like these started swirling in my head: "What? I know she had a stomach virus, but she was feeling better." "What happened?" "She was just at church playing the piano this past Sunday." But every time I have these thoughts, I come back to that peace filled answer. God was ready for her. He called her home. Much too soon for all of us. And, as her services the next weekend displayed- much too soon for hundreds.
Knowing my grandmother was a pastor's wife for 35 years to a small town church, there was always that understanding that she touched the lives of many. I grew up watching her love for others and Jesus as if I had a front row seat. From being at her house and watching young couples come in for pre-marital counseling, being a child in her Sunday School class myself, watching her play the piano week in, week out, seeing her help children memorize scripture for their Awana sections, and much more. The day of her home going service, as I was standing there in the front of the church next to her spiritless body, looking out at a winding, long line of people who had come to pay their last respects, say their last good-byes my understanding deepened. A few hours later, as I was sitting in the audience listening to so many come to the microphone one after another sharing how Mabel touched their lives was so inspiring. My precious grandmom was not just a grandmom to me, a mom to my mom, but the grandmother or mother that so many needed during their lives. She was known as "Grandmom Houts" and "Mom Houts" to many over the years. Probably one of the most memorable testimonies given that day was when someone stood up and said that when he was trying to come up with words to describe Mabel, he kept coming back to the same words that describe Jesus. I can think of no higher compliment. No greater reward. I can actually picture the look on her face and in her eyes if she had been there to hear the many people who shared how she had touched their lives. I couldn't help but look over at my Granddad as he was sitting in the front pew listening to so many pour out their words of appreciation. I often noticed him nod in agreement, and even smile.
During the service, the grandchildren were given a chance to come to the microphone to share our thoughts with all those who came. My sister chose her words wisely. Proverbs 31 is the perfect description of my Grandmom. I decided to read a portion of my grandmother's handwritten notes from her Bible. "Life is a wonderful experience. It's marvelous to see that God keeps nature going in its patterns. It's wonderful to know that we're here to love God about everything and to love our neighbor as ourselves. It's comforting to believe that all our sins are forgiven because of what Christ did on the cross. And it's exciting to think about the eternity that God has for us. It sure is great to be alive." I found this written in her Bible the day she went home to be with her Savior. It seemed a little ironic to be reading the words "It sure is great to be alive," while I was sitting there in my Grandmom's house trying to grasp that she was no longer alive...here on earth. But, the words definitely summed up the way she lived every day- there was always a smile on her face, she was always happy to be in your prescence, and to be sharing a conversation, a meal, or even just the phone with you. I want to live like that. I am still inspired by her daily joy and reliance on her Savior. I am even more encouraged when I hear one of my good friends say one of her newly taken on life quesitons when faced with a difficulty. " What would Mabel do?" I know with confidence that when my grandmom came face to face with her Savior, she heard the words, "Well done, My good and faithful servant." It brings me comfort and peace to know she is well...complete, whole, and fully well. And, her legacy inspires me to live in a way to also one day prayerfully hear those words when I meet my Savior.
Saying good-bye is never easy. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think of her, and selfishly wish she were still here on this Earth. I miss her prayers...oh, her prayers. (warranting of a whole other blog post) What a faithful prayer warrior. She was always praying for me, for my family, for her extended family, for her friends, for our country, for our law enforcement officials, and for strangers. My grandmom was one of the most special, God loving, God-fearing, serving people I know. I have and continue to learn so much from her.
As her life on earth has come to close, I feel sadness and loss. But, I feel happiness and joy in knowing she is loving her new life in her new mansion along a street of gold with a beautiful crown of jewels on her head. That makes me smile. That helps ease the pain of loss.
Lord, help me to live out her legacy. To continue to instill in my children what she has in me and our family. Help me to be bold in my prayers as she was. Help me to find the simple joy in living every day as she did and to share your love with everyone I can. And, help ease our sadness as we miss our cherished mom and grandmom. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
