Holding Hands...

There are continual memories that take place that I would love to share. But, one in particular sticks out in my mind...holding my boy's hand. We hold hands often, and each time I adore. But, tonight was more special than other times for me. I was holding and rocking Landon before laying him in his crib to fall asleep like every other night. But, tonight, when I laid him down, he didn't just cry for a minute, he stood up, reached his arms out, and in a whiny, cranky voice, he said, "Mama." Now, who can resist that! Of course, I picked him up and held him, and told him, "It's okay, Mama's here."   After a few more minutes of being held, I laid him back down, and he started fussing again...I didn't want to walk out on him, so I sat by his crib (as I had done before to let him know I was still there), but I also reached my arm in...and, instead of rubbing his back, I said, "Hold Mama's hand." I didn't expect him to actually do it, but to my surprise, I felt his little hand reach out and hold mine. I didn't care how long I had to sit there...I would have held his hand all night if he needed me to. It was in those moments that I had a little emotional melt...it hit me- I have this little boy who I have longed for and prayed for for years here, holding my hand, wanting and needing me. 

Greg just finished up his first set of midnights since Landon has come home. These past four days have been filled with fun visits at grandparents houses so daddy could sleep through the day, where Landon got to have some good fun with his grandparents and Aunt Sue and Uncle Chris...but, tonight, I think I saw for the first time just how much Landon missed seeing his Daddy. Every morning when Landon woke up, Greg was sleeping. This morning, he got a huge smile on his face, when he peeked over my shoulder, he saw daddy in bed. On our way out of the bathroom, he took off for Greg. I couldn't stop him...and didn't want to either, to be honest. I let him quietly lay next to Greg for the 30 seconds that he would stay still. Then, this afternoon, Greg had overtime, and Landon (who usually happily waves bye-bye) got upset when he left, and I was putting him down for his nap. So, by bedtime tonight, I don't think Landon wanted me to leave because he was missing his daddy. We are looking forward to these next few days together since daddy is off until Friday.

Here are a few cute pictures and some videos of the fun Landon had while visiting his grandparents houses for the first time!!

Playing trains with Mommom

Flying with Aunt Sue!

Nana couldn't resist sharing when asked for some of her brownie!

Playing Peek-A-Boo with Uncle Chris

Dumping your Cheerios and then racing the dog for them is much more fun than

just eating them the good ol' fashion way!

Tomorrow is our first visit to the dental hygienist! ...Aunt Laura! Luckily, she's already been practicing with Landon, so I'm sure he will do just fine! :)

A Year Ago Today...

It’s been a while since I’ve written an emotional post…so grab a tissue, and a cup of coffee too…this one’s gonna be a long one!


January 19, 2010 was a memorable day for us. We decided on this date, after much prayer, to select Russia as the country we were going to adopt from. (You can go back and look at our beginning posts to see how we “decided” Russia if you really want to know the details!) We were so excited to be able to take a huge step forward in our journey to parenthood.

January 19, 2010 was also a memorable day for our son, but not in nearly the same exciting way. On this day, a year ago, our son was brought to the orphanage he lived in until we were able to bring him home with us almost a year later (coincidence with that timing? I think NOT! …according to Jer. 29:11!). On this day, our son was not feeling excited…in fact, I don’t know what he was feeling for sure, but I do know, it probably included feeling scared, anxious, and confused. I can’t even imagine how any of the 1 year olds I know would react if they were taken from the only home and family they knew, and placed in a new setting where no one held them close or spoke loving, assuring words to them. In fact, the very act of me sitting here trying to picture how that day played out for him, and how he must have felt, is giving me a perspective I should already have had, and one I need…deep empathy and compassion for my boy…and a heavy burden for all the other babies and children who are still living without families.

As I sit here today, pondering January 19, 2010, I am no longer thinking of the start of our adoption process, I am thinking of the start of a life our boy began in an orphanage, away from anything familiar to him. Looking back, one of the things I think that we did right during that time was pray for Landon…we didn’t know who he was, or if our child going to be a girl or a boy, but we prayed for “our child’s” health…mentally, emotionally, and physically. We prayed that even though we couldn’t be with him during those times, that he would feel our love, and most importantly, God’s love for him. As I think about this, I also can’t help but think, Why? Why couldn’t God have just spared him the pain in his early life and just sent him directly to us? We will never know, but, maybe, just maybe, it is so that we all can learn to appreciate the family we have, and to pray for and to help those who are without someone to love them. I know I will never think of orphans or adoption the same as I do now….a year ago today. So much has changed in just a year…and so much is still changing, and I don’t mean in our lives here at home, I mean in my heart.

Speaking of change, we have now turned the calendar page to January 19, 2011. Now this date brings joy to my heart, and a smile to my face. This date marks 1 month (30 days to be exact) since Landon has NOT lived in an orphanage. And, wow, what a difference a month can make! I immediately picture Landon babbling loudly as he runs from one room in our house to the next, calling for Dakota, or Greg, or I, and just having the chance to be a normal 2 year old! I picture his little lips pursed together, chin out, looking for a kiss. I picture Landon running as fast as he can into his daddy’s arms to hug him…or tackle him as they love to do to each other. And, I think how fast he has learned to understand English- holy cow! There isn’t a command I have said to the boy that I don’t think he has followed… “put your jammies in the hamper,” “let’s put your stool back,” “give Dakota a kiss,” and the list could go on and on! And, I think of the tantrums he has when being told “NO.” Yes, this adorable boy can throw a tantrum! And, from what I have heard, it is a typical 2 year old “thing.”

Speaking of those tantrums, however, I have to admit, they tend to make me frustrated, and even mad at times. I go from feeling stubborn (I’m not going to give in, and give him what he wants!) to guilty (how could I be frustrated so soon? How long have I prayed for this child?!?) to helpless (God, help!). I pray that I remember how much change Landon has gone through in less than a year the next time he is kicking and screaming, and hitting (yes, hitting) me. I pray that I don’t feel angry, but that I feel love. I want to be a mom who disciplines with love in her heart, not anger. A childhood song comes to mind here…”He’s Still Working on Me” I remember vividly sitting in Kindergarten behind my teacher, at the piano bench, singing the words, “He’s Still Working on Me, to make me what I ought to be. It took Him just a week to make the moon and the stars, the sun and the earth, and Jupiter and Mars. How loving and patient He must be, He’s still working on me.” Thank you, Lord, for being so patient with me, and for teaching me how you must feel at times when I reject what You are telling me to do. And, thank you, Lord, that the tantrums seem to be less and less frequent!

I know I just wrote a book here in this one post alone, but I needed that…I needed to look back. Sometimes it is good to look back, to see where you’ve (or your child’s) been, and to realize how far you’ve (or they’ve) come…it helps give you the persistence and patience to keep on keeping on!

We are off to CHOP today! I am praying our next post has some good results to share!

 

January 19, 2010 - Database Picture

 

 

January 19, 2011

A Visual Reminder

I often get asked, "So, are you going to share with Landon where he came from?" The answer: ABSOLUTELY! We aren't planning on making it some sort of big revealing when he's old enough to understand. We intend on making his story part of his life right from the start. As one way of doing this, we asked a dear friend of ours, Karen, to help us out by painting a mural of St. Basil's Cathedral on his bedroom wall. The timing of when it was finished made it all the more special. Karen began painting the night before we left on our 3rd trip. She finished up while we were in Russia. When we walked Landon into his room for the first night, it was there, beautifully complete on the wall in front of us! We couldn't be happier with how it turned out, and are SO SOOO grateful for Karen's sacrificial 18 hours of labor!!! 

As you can see below, this mural is right above where Landon's crib is, and it is the first thing you see when you walk into his room. We are not only using it as a visual reminder of his cultural heritage, but also to remind us of the amazing way God chose to give us our son. The more we get to know him, and the more he gets comfortable with our family, the more we can see that he truly is a perfect fit into our families. 

We also have a few items from Moscow to place on a shelf (we just have to purchase and hang the shelf!!) on the wall to the left of the mural. The nesting dolls (including the ones pictured below that our friends the Coutos from church made- too funny!), the snow globe of St. Basil's, and a picture of the three of us in front of St. Basil's on our 2nd full day together.

Today, when I started hearing his babbling over the moniter, I clicked the "video" button to see if Landon was standing up. I was pleasantly surprised to see him pointing and touching the mural while babbling. If I could only understand what he was saying! :)

Thank you Karen! We love you! 

Mmmm....Spaghetti!!!

Typically, Landon doesn't like even having a drop of food on his tray...he gasps really big whenever something falls on his tray or on his bib, and wants me to clean it up before continuing to eat. Apparantly, all his worry about staying clean went out the window tonight! :0)

Can't you just hear him sucking up the noodle?

Someone grabbed their Mommom's glasses right off her face...and put them on his face!

...yep, a HAM!

And, poor Dakota gets other people's accessories put on her too! What a good girl! She lets Landon do whatever he wants to her!

Daddy: "Wait! We're not done!"

We can't read more than one page before Landon grabs a book out of our hands, or shuts our fingers in it!

But, we still try...and try, and TRY to read to him! But, our reading turns gets turned into....

TICKLE TIME!!!

Can't you just hear the song "Best of Friends" from Disney's Fox and the Hound when you look at this one?

I know, Dakota doesn't look too happy. This is just her "I see someone out the front window" face...

They really are so cute together- Landon is constantly calling for and looking for Dakota, and Dakota is either sleeping in front of his crib during nap time, or goes in a few times to make sure he is still okay, and then walks out.

I guess that's enough pictures for one post! :)



We love hearing our boy laugh!!!

Before you get to hear the laughs, I wanted to say that we had our first pediatrician appointment today. According to the Doctor, Landon is healthy, and he doesn't have any concerns. We are going to see a children's eye doctor to see about getting his lazy eye corrected, but, that's about all! We are scheduled to also see CHOP next Wednesday, the 19th. We had hired them to analyze our in-country medical information at the time of our referral in October, and they like to follow up with the children after they come home...so, they will be doing a complete medical and developmental eval on Landon for us.

Here are a few videos of how much fun we have making Landon laugh! He loves being bounced around, and even tackled by his daddy! I don't know who enjoys it more! :0)

I look back on this, and think- wow- look how much he lets me kiss him now! I think back to the first time we met him- it took him 3 days of seeing us in a row to let us hold him...I just love that he is getting so comfortable with our affection! And, what I love even more are the times he randomly walks over to Greg and I and hugs us, and reaches his little chin out, with lips all puckered up, while making the "mmmmmwwah" sound!

Yes, this is Dakota's chew toy...Landon likes  her toys just as much as his own...sigh. ;)

I look back at this video, and laugh- I didn't notice at the time how Dakota had chunks of snow on her snout! Poor girl, she is always being "skooted" out of the way...

Landon playing with his new remote control police car - he thinks it's funny to make it bump into things.
He is so silly!

Here's Landon with his 5 cousins! :)

Yes, these are my gloves! He won't wear any others, he just shakes them off...no matter how much I tuck them into his coat sleeves!

Home for 2 Weeks

Wow...time is flying! I can't believe we have been home with Landon now for 2 weeks! We are having a good time together, and settling into life with a 2 year old!

During Week 2 of being home, Landon has learned some more things:

He is now babbling almost non-stop! He is opening up more, and just "talking" galore- we love it, and wish we knew if it is just baby talk, or baby Russian? Either way, we are happy to hear this! I'm sure it is just a matter of time before he bursts into real talk!

There are some new words he is trying to say: Milke Schmidt (yes, I know what you're thinking...WHAT? - every time we go potty, we look at 2 books, "Sid the Squid" and "Phillies 101- My 1st Phillies Board Book" long story short, Landon doesn't like sitting still in a chair with us and having us read to him, so we started taking the opportunity of him sitting on the potty to read to him...and, he likes it! Now, he reaches around to the back of him to get the books off the back of the potty after we put him on..it's in his natural pattern of potty routine now! ...anyway, Mike Schmidt is in there, so it kinda sounds like "MIGH Miih" It's too cute! Of course, Greg loves this too! He looks for the fanatic everytime! We can't wait to take him to his first Phillies game in a few months!  ...sorry to have gotten off track there...

He is also saying "Bye-bye" while waving, and LOVES watching all the cars go by outside of our house. We have a pretty big window in our living room, and his little head just makes it over the window sill. He gasps really dramatically everytime he sees a car or truck go by. We live right across from our town's MUA, so trash trucks, plows, etc. are going in and out all day- perfect learning opportunity!

He has also been trying to say "Thank you," but doesn't do it too often. It comes out "dah doo" - and everytime we say "Thank you" as we are trying to get him to learn how to say it, he nods his head really big.

We (and this goes for his grandparents and aunts and uncles) could just watch him all day long!

Also, during his bath, he lays on his belly and moves his arms and legs around like he's swimming. He has even put his whole face in the water a few times! This makes me really excited for summer!

Well, here are a few more pictures! I may even try uploading a video or two! :)  Enjoy!

Landon shoveling during yesterday's snowfall

Landon and Daddy shoveling

Landon met his cousins (well, my cousins, but he's still going to call them his cousins..), and he let the girls read him a few books! I marveled at this!  My Uncle Walt got a great group shot of the kids, and I'll post it as soon as I get it! I was playing the "look here, SMILE!" role, so I didn't capture the moment. :0)

And, today, after going to church, we stopped in at Wendy's for lunch. Landon had his first Frosty! YUM!

I might add here, that today was Daddy's first day back at work, and Landon's first time waking up without both Greg and  I walkiing into his room together to get him. He kept looking over my shoulder, as if to say, "Where's Daddy?" So, I told him that Daddy had to go to work. And, he proceeded to call, DaDa!! It was so cute...and, sad at the same time. He didn't get upset though, we went on with our normal breakfast routine. Greg stopped home right after we finishd up breakfast. He picked Landon up, and all he wanted to do was grab at Daddy's badge. Shiny and silver, oooh! Greg said once the weather's nicer, he's going to try to bring the police car home so Landon can see! Fun! Can't wait to capture pictures of that!

Landon and I then ventured out to church together. I brought him down to his 2's and 3's group, and he did really well. I stayed with him (and plan to do that for a few more weeks), and he did great! The group plays for about 30-40 minutes, and then they all sit down together at a rectangular table, and have some pretzels while they here a little story. He watched Miss Linda and ate his pretzels- good boy! :)

Last, but not least, here's a video of him eating a snack- yogurt, which he loves. I decided to video it because he was trying to say "gone", and "all done" Ignore my voice...I hate hearing it on video, lol!! And, sorry the video is sideways- I can't figure out how to turn it around. I took the video on my phone...hmmm. ?? Oh well.

I can honestly say, I have noticed a good change in Landon in the past few days. He seems genuinely comfortable and at home in our house, and with our daily routine. He is settling in! We are so happy to see this! It's hard to describe this change...I guess, instead of just following us around wherever we are, he runs from room to room comfortably, and knows where everything is. We say, "brush our teeth" - he runs to the bathroom, we say, "yum yum", he runs to the kitchen...I guess those kinds of changes.

We are so happy with his progress so far, and are excited to see him learn more and more each week! 

-

Arrival Video

Here is a short video clip of our arrival to JFK!!!

I had planned on blogging some more, but I hear Landon is awake... nap time over!

1 Week Home!

WOW- a week! Already? In one sense it has flown, and in another...not so much. :) We are absolutley loving getting to know Landon more and more, and watching him learn and blossom! Each day there are so many new things he learns, which just makes us so happy! Here are some things he has learned since coming home! My goal is to try to keep a list for each week so that someday I can reference back to..."when did he learn that?." My list is not all-inclusive- it's just way too hard to write it all down, but here's what I have compiled:

Words/Phrases he responds to:

"Where's Mommy?" /Daddy/Mickey Mouse/Dakota (to each of these, he will point or go looking for...)
"Where's Daddy's eyes" / "Where's Daddy's nose?"
"Come here"
"Lay Down"
"Up"
Give Mommy(or Daddy) a Kiss (SO CUTE!!!...complete with the mmmmwwwhhhhaaa sound!)

Words he has said, or is trying to say"
"Dakota"
"Bella" (Greg's parent's dog)
Ah-Oo (Russian word for  "#2".... yes, we are potty training!)
MaMa
Dad
Poppop
Mickey Mouse
Goofy

All in all, Landon is adjusting very nicely! We are super impressed. He did have his roughest day yesterday, but it was just because he wasn't feeling good. He even had a fever at one point. He is cutting two bottom canine teeth, and I am sick, so he may be catching something from me, plus, he did just fly (like we did) which means he could have ear pain...like I do. Who knows- maybe a combo of all three. But, today, he is feeling much better, and is back to playing more, and being his silly self.

Just a special sidenote to to all of our friends and familly who haven't yet met Landon: thank you for your patience! These first few weeks home are extra crucial for his bonding time with us. We are trying to make sure we only introduce him to 3 or 4 people at one time, and only maybe one set of new people a day. The past two days have been a nice reprieve from visitors. We are super excited to share him with everyone, but we don't want anything to hinder his further bonding to us. We aren't concerned that he won't bond to us, per say, but (for those of you who are reading this, and are not adoptive parents...) we are more concerned that he could bond to anyone. When kids come from orphanages, they are used to depending on anyone and everyone to meet their needs. We are trying to re- train Landon to know that the two of us are his mom and dad (i.e.- primary care takers) and that our relationship with him is unlike anyone else's. We appreciate everyone's support in this regard. I just wanted to kind of explain why we have been so protective of that. I had intended on blogging about this before we had left for our 3rd trip, but everything just happened so fast, especially since preparing for Landon's arrival coincided with Christmas preparation. 

Well, here are some more pictures of some of the fun we have been having since we have come home!!!

Believe it or not, this is a real ceramic mug- with (decaf) green tea in it! We are witnessing what we have read on other blogs- our boy must have been a tea drinker!

Our strong boy still likes to vaccuum, despite daddy's pleading to play "catch" with him instead.

Landon holding Daddy's hand walking through what is now left of the snow in the backyard.

...and shoveling what is not there anymore!

And, last, but not least, my new favorite picture!!!

I am hoping that in my next post, I can share some Airport arrival pictures, and even a video!!