One Month Ago today...

It was a cool, brisk morning, and I was a nervous wreck! Our driver was coming bright and early to pick us up with our translator to go to our MOE appointment! It was at that appointment that we had hoped to be given permission to go meet our son. After about a 20 minute wait in the waiting room, they called us in to sit around a big, intimidating table to discuss our decision to adopt from Russia, and how we had prepared ourselves for the difficulties of adopting internationally, and what our occupations are. It was at that point in the meeting where I felt the tension eased a little. When I said I was a teacher, the whole room erupted in happy talk...none of which I could understsand. Our translator quickly informed us that it was international teacher day, and that it was a very good thing that I was a teacher! The director was very pleased with us, and granted us permission to meet our son- a day we will never forget!

As our car pulled up to the orphanage, I had so may feelings going through my mind- I was taking in my surroundings, and trying to allow myself to be aware of every feeling I was experiencing, and not letting any of it escape my consciousness. The tall stone gated in building with the stone security "building" outside. The fast walking pace of our driver as he walked us around to the back of the building where we entered. The smell of soup as we walked in. As soon as we got through the door, uur translator told us she'd "be right back," as she was going to ask if our boy was ready for us. We were then escorted up the concrete steps to the 3rd floor. We waited there for what seemed like 15 minutes, but it was probably only about 5. We heard a lady speaking in Russian- her voice sounded as though she were speaking to a little child, so we looked down over the stairwell to see a caretaker holding our Landon's hand, while he held onto the railing with the other, walking slowly up the stairs. I can not begin to tell you all the emotions that were going through me at that time.

I thought I would have cried- but, surprisingly, I didn't. I was just so, SO happy! I was just taking in his adorable face- his smooth skin, his brown eyes, and his sweet smile. We almost immediately began waving at him as he was walking up, and we just started saying, HI, HI!!! ...all cutesy,like you would say to a baby. The caretaker lifted him up, and sat him on the leather sofa and just said to him, "Mah-muh, Pah-puh, Pak-uh!" Which literally was her just saying, Here is mommy, daddy, and Bye now! With that, we were left alone with our son. We didn't want to scare him, so we didn't pick him up, we just grabbed a little toy car from our book-bag of toys, and pretended to drive it over his arms and legs to make him smile. It worked- our unplanned ice breaker had our boy laughing at his daddy within minutes of meeting him! It was literally LOVE at first sight!

I look back on our first day meeting our son, and am still in awe. In one sense, it seems almost surreal, but in another sense, it seems very real. I keep telling myself, "We're in the home stretch now, we can make it!" But, my heart is just crying out, saying, "My baby boy- I miss you so so much!" It's like I'm being torn- my head and my heart are telling me two different things.

I had hoped we would have gotten word of a court date this week, but we have not. It is definitely after business hours now at our agency's office, so maybe next week! I believe our paperwork has been submitted to the courts, and so it really shouldn't be too long now before we find out. I've been trying not to drive myself crazy figuring out if we will be home by Christmas, but I can't help it at times. Here's what I've figured out:

If we have court the first week of December/last week of Nov., then we will be taking our 3rd trip to go get Landon the week before Christmas, and getting home literally just days before then. However, if we have court the 2nd week of December, then we will be traveling back for our 3rd trip the week of his birthday, after Christmas. Either way, it's going to be a close call!

I can't wait for the day I can post about a court date! Keep praying!
PS- Here's a link to a song I've tried to put as our blog background music, but I can't figure it out- It's been getting me through this waiting period between trips...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZqDHl95zvM