Parenting in Grace

Unfortunately, I left the notebook with all the notes I had taken during the conference on the airplane, in the seat pocket in front of me. In attempt to try to remember as much as I can, I figured blogging about it may be a way to re-create my notes! As disappointed as I am, maybe there is someone who needs the information and scriptures that were in my notebook even more than I do.

I attended a "break out" session titled, "Parenting in Grace" during the retreat. Here are some nugges of wisdom that I know I don't want to forget. They are a few things I know I remember writing down, and don't want time to allow them to escape my memory...


Ask yourself, "What is my biggest/main goal for my child?" Many of us would say, "Above all, I want my child to love, know, and serve God with all their mind, soul, and might." Then, the goal must be to parent the heart, not the behavior. So many of us parent in a way which mirrors the goal, "I want a well behaved child." And, yes, we do! (well, at least I do!) But, it is not our job to make sure our kids never sin, and behave perfectly. If we parent the heart, the behaviors will come...and for the RIGHT reasons, not just "becasuse mom and dad said so." And, if we were honest, most of us correct behavior out of pride...my child's behavior is a direct reflection of me and my parenting, so they had BETTER behave! (I have to admit, I struggle with this!)

 It is our job to train our children, and to point them to Christ. In order to do this, we need to BE Christ to them. Show our children who He is by doing what He would do. Think back to the last time you were pitching a fit, and not wanting to obey God, or do the right thing. Did God push you away, and put you in your room until you got your act together? Thankfully- no! Instead, he lovingly corrects us, and speaks to our heart, and awaits our return with open arms...before the timer goes off if we are ready! :) I have to smile at that one. Yes, I have been guilty of turning Landon down and telling him to wait until his time is up when he says, "Mom, I ready look in your eyes! I ready talk you!" Since when has God said that to me?

God doesn't punish us. To punish is to make someone pay for a penalty. God already sent His son to pay our penalty for all since past, present, and future. I don't need to make my child pay for something he does wrong. It's already paid! That's not to say there are no consequences. Boundaries, rules, and consequences are essential in this "Parenting in Grace." It's more about our own hearts as parents.

In order to parent the heart, we need to know our own heart. We need to know who we are in Jesus. Think back to John, the "desciple whom Jesus loved." I never knew this before this weekend, but no one else ever, in Scripture, ever referred to John this way, only John referred to himself as "the desciple whom Jesus loved." Wow, how braisin is that? But, he was right, wasn't he? Yes, we are the mom Jesus loves. We need to act and react with that in mind. It will also free us from much guilt... "We are the mom that Jesus loves; we are the mom that God has given this child to.

I feel like there is much more I left out. I definitely left the practical side/portion of the session out, but that is Parenting in Grace in a nutshell. Sigh. A challenging call. One I can only answer in full submission to God every day. I have to keep telling myself, "His power is made perfect in my weakness."